Valentine's Day Red Velvet Cake with Cannabutter Recipe!!!

Melody bakes a marijuana infused Red Velvet cake for her Valentine's Day with the slow and easy ladystoner way.

by Melody

Some would argue that Valentine's day is a corporate energy suck designed to infuriate single people. To those people I would say, "Well said!"

While I am a consummate romantic, I must admit that Valentine's day has always felt a bit contrived and forced to me. I prefer a more intimate and relaxed celebration of love. So this year I'm embracing the delights of Valentine's Day with by baking and getting baked. I plan to play Queen of the Kitchen while wearing the sexiest in pajama-pants couture, a dead ringer for Betty Crocker's lazier younger sister. Let's hear it for romance!

Here's how to make Melody's quick and easy Red Velvet Cake for Lazy Lovers (+ Loving Stoners). This recipe is super easy, but the Slow + Easy Cannabutter will take you about 6 hrs to make and you'll need that before you bake the cake, so plan ahead. Also, real foodies will probably turn up their nose at the use of a box mix AND store-bought frosting, but hey, I promised easy! And I'm a busy girl. Hide the evidence and no one will know that your red velvet cake isn't made from scratch.

Slow + Easy CannaButter:
■1/4 oz of your favorite strain, ground (remove stems and seeds)
■3-4 sticks of butter (depending on desired strength)
Put the butter and bud in a lidded crock pot. Turn on high and cook for 6 hours. (You can also cook the butter on med/low for 8-10 hours if you have to be out of the house.) This mixture doesn't have to be stirred, but I find it really hard not to stir frequently because the butter just smells so good!

After your butter is finished cooking, turn off the heat and let it begin to cool while you start to mix up the cake batter...

Cake Ingredients:
■1 devil’s food cake mix or other light chocolate cake (a darker chocolate cake won't come out of the oven with that special red velvet color you're going after)
■1 teaspoon baking soda
■1 1/4 cups buttermilk
■2/5 cup melted cannabutter
■3 large eggs
■1 teaspoon vanilla
■1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
■1 teaspoon white vinegar
■1 bottle (1 ounce) liquid red food coloring*
*If you use a concentrated paste or gel coloring, mix the coloring in vigorously to ensure the batter is a vivid red color.

Grease and flour two 8" round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°. In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine the cake mix, baking soda, buttermilk, vegetable oil, eggs, 1 teaspoon vanilla, cinnamon, vinegar, and food coloring. Beat on low speed until well blended. Beat on high speed for 2 minutes. Pour the batter into the prepared baking pans. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes side by side on the same rack (for even baking results), or until cake springs back when lightly touched with a finger.

Let the cakes cool on a rack for 20 minutes. Then put the cake in the freezer to completely cool. This will take about an hour total. (Seriously. I know you want to frost the cake right now, but walk away. Smoke a bowl. Watch some Clip Trips. Read old Arts+Culture articles. Catch up on your weed news. Believe me. This is the voice of experience talking. If you frost the cake right now you'll end up with a pile of cake crumbled around a ball of crumb-adulterated frosting. )

After an hour, you're probably ready to frost.

(OPTIONAL: Take a large serrated edged knife and gently level the top of your cakes so that they are flat for better cake symmetry and increased baker bragging rights.)

Frosting
Raise your right hand. In your left hand securely grasp a container of

■store bought cream cheese frosting (Betty Crocker's version is great - also good on a spoon)
and remove the lid and wrapper. Put a good-sized glop of frosting on top of one of the cakes and spread evenly. Ultimately you want about 1/4-1/2 inch of frosting on this layer. After you have an even layer of frosting, place the other cake gently on top. Spread the icing gently over the rest of the cake. Use your knife to create patterns in the icing if you like.

And remember, you only have to share your Special Valentine's Day Red Velvet Cake for Lazy Lovers (+ Loving Stoners) if you tell people it exists. So weigh your options. I'm just sayin'.

<3 Melody