As you know, the long-awaited and once-delayed transition from analog to digital television broadcasting is finally happening!!! You won't have to kiss those rabbit ears goodbye, but you will need to plunk down for a signal converter box if you don't feel like shelling out for cable or satellite service.
The program has sometimes rightly been criticized from various quarters, which was a contributing factor behind the transition being pushed back from earlier this year. Sometimes though, commentary on the DTV transition went beyond mere criticism and veered into the realm of those who think that the moon landing was faked, that 2pac is still alive, and that the second gunman on the grassy knoll was taking orders from Castro. That's right, conspiracy theorists!
Once the province of underground mailing lists from secessionist militias, the conspiracy theory has found fertile ground in the internet. It's most public face is the 9/11 truth movement, though others posit theories that sound ripped from the pages of a bad sci-fi novel; David Icke believes that an aristocratic bloodline of lizardmen have been in control of world government for the entire length of human civilization.
Some of these internet theories about the DTV transition are fairly innocuous polemics against intrusion on our civil liberties, and even semi-logical if you don't think about it too hard. Others are totally loathsome, trading on the grisly specter of anti-semitism and bigoted tropes about international cartels of Jewish bankers who control the world's media. So, we saved you the trouble and sifted through the morass of the internet to collect our favorite conspiracy theories about the transition to digital television. Which is to say, DISCLAIMER: We make no claims as to the veracity of the views expressed herein. Some of this stuff is straight up crazy.
Cameras in your TV (Big Brother is watching!)
Many believe that the government is issuing these DTV boxes to put a surveillance camera in your living room. It sounds cribbed from 1984 and yet simultaneously somehow possible; the technology for this level of surveillance already exists, and what better way for the government to spy on us than through the populace-pacification device of choice, our televisions? This particular theory erupted into a full-on media firestorm when someone posted a video of a mini-camera inside a dismantled DTV box, before the whole thing was revealed to be a hoax. Of course, the theory falls apart on its own when you stop to consider the sheer mechanics involved in the government spending billions of dollars to monitor our slack-jawed faces as we watch the seventh episode of an I Love the 80s marathon.
Censorship and the shaping of public opinion
Of all the theories we found, this one definitely seems the most plausible. As "Scrivener" of NowPublic uncovered, the DTV boxes are "addressable." Meaning: third parties can monitor and control the information sent and received by each box. Worse yet, this third party could theoretically decrypt your boxes information just by decoding the electronic field it emits! This opens the door for someone (government agent or otherwise) to not only monitor what you're watching, but to censor it. OK, it's all speculation at this point, and there's no real proof that anyone has succeeded in cracking the DTV boxes. Still, isn't it a little bit spooky to think that its possible?
Mind Control, OR, The Mother of All Conspiracy Theories
Now, for our all-time favorite. The big kahuna. The conspiracy theory that weaves together the DTV transition, the military-industrial complex, a little-known '90s Army research boondoggle, the election of Barack Obama, and isolationist fears about the dreaded "one world government." AKA: the DTV-as-mind-control theory.
In a sprawling, consummately paranoid tirade, "Dr. A. True Ott" theorizes that the DTV box is a miniaturized version of the military's HAARP project, a device that he claims will be used to totally pacify the world's population, allowing the "New World Order" (funded by those international Freemason banking consortiums, natch) to deploy the military industrial complex and create a global fascist police state.
No stone unturned, he concludes with a quote by Paul Simon, whose song lyrics indicate that he must have been "in the know" about this massive conspiracy. A mere recap can't do this one justice, dear reader. Grab a bag of popcorn and cue up the X-Files theme song, because you're in for a long, paranoid read....
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