I don't know how much more of this I can take!!!

I really wish I could actually get a straight answer. I called my sister yesterday around 9:00 pm, and I guess the hospital did not send my grandfather home. Tonya my grandfather's main nurses aid called and said that my grandfather has to come home right away. From what I am hearing from my sister My uncle bob told my mother that he's going home today and the hospital does not think he will make it home, and if you want to say anything to him you better do it now. My mom went over there and asked the nurse about it. The nurse said he never said that to my uncle. My grandfather is in really bad shape, it took my grandfather about 20 minutes to talk to my mom. I asked my sister about his condition and she told me that my mom said that he looks bruised all over, and she held his hand and it felt cold. The nurses tried to give him some water and he could not ever drink it. He starting choking from one swallow. I was doing some research reading on the dying process just to get an idea how my time he has left. Just knowing the fact he cannot swallow anymore and losing circulation it doesn't look very good. Tomorrow, I am going out of town I had some friends that I made plans with that are taking me to Indy this weekend to celebrate my birthday. My birthday's not till Tuesday, yay the big 33... I'm so sick of all this fucking drama I've been such a nervous wreck over this.. I know my grandfather is in his 90's mayby I do not know the whole story. When your relatives go to the lawyer and not the hospital first, to me it looks bad. Especially, when family members change the way he wants to die. This is what happens when you give your kids free hand outs. They are all born with a silver spoon in their fucking mouths!!! All they care is about being rich, getting that fucking money!!!! I am so disgusted and ashamed of being related to these people. Blood sucking leaches that what they are their poison, I love to scrape them with a shovel. You have no idea some of the heartless things they have said to my grandparents. Here's some examples: My uncle dick said to my grandmother next time I will see you you will be 6 feet under. My uncle ronny has told people that his daughters don't have grandparents. I remember one time when I was about 9 I believe it was my birthday and I wanted a scooter. My grandfather got me a scooter and my sister's dad Jamie got me a scooter. My aunt Cathy came over and visited my grandparents and got pissed off because my grandparents didn't buy her kids a scooter, got mad and left the house. Oh of course the one time when my grandparents when to see my cousin holly on grandparents day at school, the next day they had a grandparents day for my cousin Hailey and my grandparents were so tired going to the school to see holly and they did not come to the event. My aunt Cathy sent my grandmother a nasty letter saying so disappointed and she should be ashamed of her self of not coming. I could go on with these spoiled brat silver spoon horror stories but I think you get the idea. These relatives resent me because my grandparents raised me. I am the black sheep, the one that has the scarlet letter in their eyes. When I run into them when I have to meet up with the lawyer I know I will never, ever see these people again.I do not want anyone in my family to know where I live, because when I was living with my grandparents when I was taking classes at IUSB, one of my family member would call CPS and make false allegations and make up stories that I was taking drugs. Every three months I would get someone out there making me take drug test getting my hair cut off, to prove that I was not using drugs, I even brought my attorney into this. I got sick and tired of this bullshit when I was taking care of my grandparents and my aunt getting jealous because he would give me a 100 a week. Now the nurses aid that takes care of my grandfather he pays here 1000 a week never uses her car. She uses my grandfathers car and still asks for gas money!! I looks like she has broken some codes of ethics and milking my grandfather as much as she can. I believe most of my relatives are going to let her have the house. I believe that what she was after all along. She will have to my share of the house and there is no way in hell I am going to let her have that house. She never answers the house, ignores my calls never tells my grandfather I called gold digging bitch!! So I moved out I got so sick of this bullshit!!! I have nothing to hide I do not use drugs and I am not candy coating anything!! I take drugs tests till my sons turns 18 and it will still come up negative. I just sick of my family members harassing me and I just afraid that it will start all over again if the find out where I live. Last night I broke the microwave plate, I need a break really bad. It's kinda nice to have a sitter for the weekend and have some time to myself. I gave my mom the number to my friends parents house just in case something happens when I am out of town.  I hope nothing else happens especially when I am out of town because I will feel like a major asshole. Sorry, I really upset about whats going on with my grandfather right now my blog is very confusing today. I feel like I'm in some as the stomach turns cheezy soap opera...